Our witness to life must address the pain and grieving experienced by those who have lost a child. Just as we recognize the humanity of the unborn child lost to abortion, we must acknowledge equally the unborn child lost to miscarriage. … As members of the body of Christ, the Church, we are called to bear witness to the loss of every life, no matter how brief or small.”
"The Catholic Church rightly insists on the sanctity of life from the moment of conception, but we need to do a better job of ritualizing the loss of life when a miscarriage does occur. Couples often bear this grief in silence and confusion. The world seems to be telling them that a life was not lost, that a tragedy has not happened. And yet, parents know otherwise." - excerpt from Overcoming Obstacles: Miscarriage
Here is some wisdom that has helped others through this silent sorrow:
It is right to grieve. Take the time to grieve and be gentle with yourself as you are grieving. Treat yourself like a best friend and give yourself permission to be good to yourself during this difficult time.
Surround yourself with people who understand, and avoid people who don’t. Give yourself permission to share with some people and not with others.
Name your baby. This simple yet profound action is a concrete way of affirming that this life was and is a unique person.
Pray even when words won’t come. God is indescribably near to the broken-hearted, although it may seem like God is very far away. Speak words from your heart, even if they are words of anger, rage, disappointment, frustration or hopelessness.
Men and women grieve miscarriage differently. Some spouses may want to be alone. While others may want to meet with a spiritual director or friend to share the burden. Some spouses discover that exercise can be healing, while other spouses find that just puttering around can be helpful. Find out what works for you and be gentle with yourself.
Ask your local parish to begin a yearly Mass for Hope and Healing. We began this in our parish seven years ago as a way to give voice to our grief and to pray for comfort and strength. Each year, this liturgy attracts people from the area, some who experienced pregnancy loss years, even decades, ago.
"It is estimated that one out of four pregnancies ends in miscarriage. This loss can have a profound effect on the mothers, fathers and families of the children who pass away, and many of us may be unsure how best to respond to those who are hurting."
For those wishing to memorialize a child lost, Now I Lay Me Down to Sleepphotography provides free portraits to parents suffering from miscarriage or stillbirth. Their website can be found by clicking here.